Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
