When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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