Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
