i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize