I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
