I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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