is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
