I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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