i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
