I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
