She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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