Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
