It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
