You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
