remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
