I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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