butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
