What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
