the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
