I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
