worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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