Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So. Much. Porn.
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