do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
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