I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
