All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
