he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
