Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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