Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
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The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
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I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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