what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
