I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
