I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
