She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
