Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
