I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Drake has all the answers
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
