Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
