He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
