Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
