There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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