TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
