At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
