The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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