They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
