took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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