we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
