i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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