i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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