thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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