that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
