What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
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fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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