Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
