who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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