Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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