proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
