whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
