I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I would ride that face into the sunset
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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