Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
