I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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