i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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