so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
